17 June 2010
is it me or my mother how is wrong?
Posted by admin under: Family .
am 13 my mum has arthritis doesn’t have a job (she cant work because of the pain) my dad has left her but i get to stay at his house every second weekend. i love my mum so much but she can get so annoying and embarrassing.my dad did most of the rules and disciplining i wasn’t a bad kid, he was just the one that made shore my room was clean set my bed time etc. my mum goes to sleep at about 6 or 7pm so i have no bed time my sleeping has gotten so bad i can only get to sleep at about 1 or 2 in the morning which means i have i have about 5 hours sleep a day. mum is always tried her words are usually slurred making her sound drunk and she scares me. i have came out of my room at night to find her on the floor, she was asleep i could not move her or wake her i up so i just left her. she won’t listen when you tell her to go to bed. 1 time i came home from school to find all of the doors locked the tv wasn’t on and the car was inside. i could not get in i cried for an hour waiting out side my house thinking that she had a fit and died then i ran for half an hour to my friends house (where my dads best friend lives mums scared of him because my dad hit her so now she is scarred of all men) to get a key she was fine i found a note saying she went to the doctors but when she came back she didn’t seem to care that i had gone though one of the most scary experiences in my live and said that she is going to change the locks so my dads friend can not get in and there is no i could ask to come and help me if i needed help that’s lives less than an hour away. my mum dresses bad deliberately so no guys will find her attractive it is so embarrassing to go to a nice place and my mum is wear the most disgusting embarrassing clothes. my mum and i are both vegetarian i can cook a little but only know how to make what mum makes which i don’t like and are unhealthy i have looked up recipes but there to complicated and we don’t have alot of money to buy fancy food. i have to wear my friends old clothes that don’t fit me i even have to wear there old bras. my mum talks bad about all men she says the only want to get in hour pants or shes acts really scared of them i am developing a fear of men now i know its not rational but men are really are starting to scare me. i do not believe in love. i think what happens is that you have a crush on some one fall in love or lust (temporally) get bored after a few years stay together just because your comfortable or break up. my mum complains all the time about her being fat, she is but i try to help her and say things like i think you are very pretty or something but when she says shes fat she makes me feel fat and some times i starve myself i feel bad about eating i have gone three days without eating before and then pig out i have a very bad relationship with food. i really do love my mum i have seen the school councilors and other people before about mum and dads split (they made me go) should i talk to my mum about some of these things or is it just me should i just be happy with what i have got?
i **** looking after her i know its not her fault and i know i sound selfish but things have been so hard i feel like i am going to shatter most of the time. i really just want some one to look after me
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3 Comments so far...
teen in need of help Says:
17 June 2010 at 2:21 pm.
I think that your mum is probably really scared of men and in a way doesnt want you to go through the same she has. seems like she has a low self esteem also.
i also dont think that she is looking after you all that well. im sorry if that sounds rude i truly do apologise. its just leaving without you knowing, saying bad stuff, lowering YOUR self esteem, not taking proper care of you doesnt all seem that right.
i probably wouldnt tell her but have you tried telling your dad?
Yashna Says:
18 June 2010 at 3:02 pm.
You are not wrong to say what you are saying as i am sure you are fed up…but try to keep in mind that she cannot help it. talk to your father about it. tell him if you do not think that she can look after herself. it is not your job to look after her. there are people who could however. speak to someone in your family hopefully an adult and they may be able to help you. try not to get too frustrated although i am sure that is hard.
Ape Says:
18 June 2010 at 3:28 pm.
You are such a great person and your mum is really lucky to have you. Please don’t go starving yourself it is not the way to loose weight, but you are unhappy then you should eat small amounts of food. Also with the food problem try buying fruit and vegetables they are very good for you and eating regular amounts of them is very good. Also try drinking a lot of water it makes you feel better as well as do your body better.
The situation with your mum must be very difficult but try looking on the internet there must be somewhere you can go like i think there is a place called carers where people like you can go have a drink and meet other people like yourself who look after their family members, i actually know a boy who attends it and it really helps him to relax and take his mind off of it. Talking to someone always helps and can make you feel a lot better, so if possible talk to other family members. You might not like going to a school councilor but i reckon they can really help you with your problems, i had a friend who went to the school councilor and it really helped her. Tell them about your mum and her sleeping as well as other problems you want help to be resolved. These people are here to help so really use them and ask for help or ask questions like is there anywhere you can go for a rest or carers who can maybe help out with your mum.
With men i know your mum said that she is scared of them and you are beginning to feel the same but you need to know to not listen to everything you mum said about them as she seems to view them in a bad way and trust me boys can be annoying but they are not all bad. Take me for instance i had a best friend who was a boy and i couldn’t have wished for a better friend. You don’t have to date boys if you dont want to but don’t be afraid of boys in your class, as some of the best friends are boys.
I really do wish you the best for the future and don’t give up you are an amazing person for helping your mum, but don’t forget about yourself you need a break once and while and do talk to someone you know you can trust and/ or councilorer they really can help so don’tnt shut them out.